My mother passed away three years ago and I still miss her very much. In fact I think I will never stop missing her. I think of her so often – she lives in so many memories and in so many of the things I do on a daily basis. I am so thankful for the things she taught me and the legacy she has left me in the things I have learned and taken on as values and traditions in my own life. In fact, the name of this Blog – “For the Love of Beauty” is a tribute to her love of all things beautiful – she taught me to admire and rejoice in the beauty around us!
Mom, you always used to say – “ah you will miss me when I am gone” and you were right! We all sure do!
This is the tribute that my sister Carol and I read at her funeral – and now on Mother’s Day once again our tribute to a much loved mother!
Eunice May Bastian Buffam
When I asked dad last night what he loved about Mom, he listed many things, but the first thing he said was “she was beautiful”. And she was – in every way! Dad felt he had the best – and she felt the same way about him!
Mom was full of life and laughter. She delighted in beautiful things – and had a nac for creating beauty around her whether it was in her home, with the incredible ability to make any home a mansion through her keen decorating eye, or her garden, where her green thumb made all her plants blossom, or her own sense of personal style. She was a very trendy lady with a great sense of class – she believed that you could never have too many shoes – but only if they were on sale! She passed on these interests and these traits to us – we too believe you can never have too many shoes!
She was a woman who had “class” and taught her children how to fit in every situation.
She was Martha Sewart before Martha Sewart existed. She taught us all things domestic – sewing – she made us matching dresses every Easter and taught us to do the same – cooking – she was a fantastic cook – we had a homemade dessert at every meal – cleaning – she believed cleanliness was next to godliness – and would put her kids to work every Saturday. She loved to have what she call a “bee”. We hated that word because we knew what that meant! We would all have to have a work bee and do chores in a joyful manner! (or at least pretend to be joyful) When we were very young she would put us all to work “trimming” the edges of the lawn with small children’s scissors if you can imagine! I think it was a way to keep her four children busy and out of her hair!
She was a very private woman – very quiet. But – she had a hearty laugh – and she loved to laugh – and we loved to get her to laugh!
She was quirky – she twisted words – couldn’t get them right – and then she would laugh at herself. In the last year of her life she used a walker – but she called it her “stroller”.
Growing up we always thought oregano was “or-ei-gano” and parmesean cheese was par-a-mess-iam cheese – because that is how she pronounced it! We were so embarrassed in high school home economics class to find out we were wrong!
She was the brunt of family teasing – and she laughed with us – she loved a good party and never wanted to miss one!
She was a mentor as a mother. She cared as much about her grandchildren Sarah and Laura as their own mothers Sandra and Carol did. She wanted them to have the best and to be the best. She passed away on December 2, but it was her plan that Christmas to buy her grandchildren a devotional book and a book of etiquette – in her mind if they were well versed in spiritual things and in etiquette they would be well equipped – but of course her first priority was their spiritual well being. She loved these girls with her whole being!
She was an encourager. She always wanted us to believe in ourselves – she believed we could do extraordinary things. She would leave notes on our pillows when we were young telling us how she felt and how much she cared.
She pushed us musically because that was important to her – and because of her we all have musical abilities today. We knew if we wanted to get out of doing the dishes following dinner all we would have to do is “practice the piano” – she was willing to do the dishes alone if we would push ourselves in music.
She had an incredible drive – in fact she was a driver leading everyone else! She had a vision for what she wanted – or what needed to be done and she could put everyone into action to accomplish it! She got things done – not alone but with a team of followers! Thats a leader!
She would make a list every day of what needed to be done and she would put Dad to work. I bet Dad you never thought you would miss those lists so much! They were long – and impossible to accomplish in a day, let alone a year – but that was vision! Think BIG!
When Dad and Mom moved to Stamford Estates Retirement home 5 weeks before she died, she said, “what will Dad do if there is no house to look after” – what she really meant was “what will she do if there is no list to make!’
Mom was a leader in all aspects and she taught us to be leaders – not always followers. She was very bright – highly perceptive – she had great insight into ministry and service to others – a great sense of discernment. She was intuitive – a problem solver – she could put her finger on the issue – quickly access – and then focus on solving it. She was clear about how she felt about something – and what she wanted – and she was not afraid to ask – and she was persistent – she would keep asking until things moved along.
She cared about the underdog – she pulled close to her people who were hurting.
She was always the initiator whether it was for a family party – tasks that needed to be done – or prayer.
She prayed daily for the needs around her – her friends, her family, her church but especially her family!
She loved her family and was at her happiest when we were together. She was always delighted to see us – and delighted at whatever we might bring her. She always gave us a warm reaction and welcome every time we walked through her door.
She was always asking “what can I do to help”.
She never allowed us to go to bed angry – but forced us to work it through and clear our hearts.
She had incredible inner strength and courage. She suffered for years with the aches and pains associated with her health issues – and she never complained for herself – she bore it with quiet strength and courage and pushed herself to rise above it. She always apologized for the affect her ailments had on us. In fact just this past Saturday (the day before her passing) when she was taken to emergency she mouthed from her hospital bed “I’m sorry” and so were we that she had to once again go through this suffering.
She pushed herself to live and live fully – even to the end! And God has honoured that desire – she has a new body – freedom from ths one that betrayed her and I believe that just as she delighted in all things wonderful, beautiful and loving here on earth – she is now delighting in her new found freedom with her God. And we look forward to seeing her again and delighting with her!
We miss you mom – but honour you today and every day for the life you lived!